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Ugh….

I’m so silly. I should have just let you be tonight. I just wanted to fix everything that happened last night. You said we would talk….but you were so short and distant and I didn’t know how to handle it. So I took you home, and when I left, I lost it. I love you, and I hope that everything will be okay….


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Well,

I really fucked up now. Things were going so well, and I just blew everything out of proportion. Fuck :’( 

I’m sorry I keyed your car, and I’m sorry I blew up. I shouldn’t have….

FUUUUUCK! :’(


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I’m a complete mess.

I’m on my front porch, bawling my eyes out. What the fuck is wrong with me?


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So I guess its cute and shit,

To tell me last night that we still don’t have to do this. That you want to meet up today and fix this. 

Then you tweet two hours ago, “Fuck that cheating #bitch”

So I text and ask you about it and you say you don’t want to talk because I’ve moved on. 

What the fuck dude. You’re just as fucking crazy as me. 


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Two years, gone.

And I’m fucking happy. 

August 12, 2010 I never thought I’d be here…Back with the guy I was with before. Up until the past month or so, I thought we’d be married eventually…but FUCK THAT. 

Rewind….Freeze. June 2009. Started dating Cory Fisher. We dated for five months…each others firsts…whatever. Broke up and we were back and forth up until I met Trevor in July/Augusy 2010. A whole year of back and forth fighting and hooking up. But even after Trevor and I were together, I still continued to hook up with him. 

Fast forward to this week. Trev and I broke up…I was talking to/seeing Cory. And it just felt right. Now up to today, Cory and I are back together, Trevors hand is broken from punching his car and I also found out that I was NOT Trev’s first….he had sex with a girl two days before we started dating. What the hell dude. We got a good start there. 

But fuck it, I’m happy and that’s all that matters. I don’t care who has what to say. I was extremely tired of dating a child and that’s that. 


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I don’t even know who I am.

Okay, soooo, I really hate this. There is this guy, who I’ve been with before. Aaaand, he basically has my heart. Recently he’s been talking to me and I’ve fallen in love with him again, not that its hard to do. I dumped my boyfriend of nearly two years for this guy, and I’m hoping its the right thing. He says all these things to me that just, ugh, I don’t even know how to describe how I feel. I honestly and truly love this guy, and I hope he feels the same……… I can’t even stand this. 


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Sometimes…

Good things fall apart so better things can come together. 


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Why do I miss you so much? 


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This week.

Ah, This week has been a complete struggle. 

Trevor and I have fallen in love all over again. I started back on my celexa, MUCH needed, and we don’t fight anymore….probably cause I’m way less of a bitch. 

But, a few things have fallen apart. You see, there is this girl. And only the second girl ever. We talked….every day. And then she started to ignore me. Anddddd it really honestly sucked. I really started to miss her after day one. But, we are nearly 1,000 miles away. So I guess I understand. 

And my other best friend won’t be back until the first of June with my baby Ryder. </3 

UGH. 


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time sure is flying.

It’s crazy that Trevor and I are going on 20 months. Through all our fights and differences, we still manage to stay madly in love. 

In 20 days, it’s been 6 months since I graduated cosmetology school. 

Damn. 


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thanks, mom.

For going and getting the 4s when you said I could have that upgrade. BRB, gonna throw my phone in the garbage disposal. 


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I hate to look like a bitch,

but the nerve of some fucking people. 

First off, you’re off Fridays and Saturdays just because you’re a fuckin lazy ass bitch and don’t wanna work.

Second, this new girl quit so yeah, the fucking schedule is now fucked up. 

Now you’re gonna bitch because it’s put on you and me because the other manager asked off for M-W…… Oh my god. 

I could use Friday off to actually WORK on my CAREER and not just to spend time with my BOYFRIEND. Goddamnit!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even…. 

You’re a stupid bitch.


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my god.

last time I had feelings like this, I was way to scared to act on them. 

this time? not so much. :)


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